The Ties That Bind on Father’s Day

It's a month away, but it's not too early to start thinking about Father's Day.

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are decidedly different, and not just because of their gender roles.  

Mother’s Day evokes deep sentiment, probably because of the special bond that exists between mothers and their children. Most children start forming a bond with their mothers at conception, and the bond strengthens and grows throughout the gestation period. 

And, like it or not, that’s a bond we fathers just don’t have. Oh, we can share in the love that’s growing, but it’s not growing in our bodies. We can marvel at the surreal movements as we watch baby’s limbs make ghost-like scrawls across mom’s abdomen. We can even be amazed (though never jealous) as we feel the “kicks” baby is sharing inside that sacred home. But we cannot feel that eternal, primal bond that only mothers get to feel, even after baby has vacated the womb and emerged to a place where we can actually hold it.

That’s why mothers never get ties for Mother’s Day. They get nicer, more meaningful, more sentimental, more emotional gifts, because, well, they’re mothers.

Not that most dads mind. Most dads won’t care if we don’t get a round of golf at Augusta from our progeny. Nor do we mind getting less sentimental gifts…like ties. That’s just the way it is with dads and their children.

But if the dad in your life is a cerevisaphile like The PubScout, you can show your appreciation for the missing bond in a number of ways, and many of them come in four-packs, six-packs or bomber bottles. If you’ve been paying even the slightest bit of attention, finding some beers that your dad likes shouldn’t be hard, especially with the proliferation of breweries around today. If you want to “go the extra mile” for the guy responsible for making you, a growler or two from his favorite breweries would work beautifully, and if you’re into beer, you can share it.

If he’s proud of his association with beer, even T-shirts proclaiming that are good choices. Check these out from Brew-Tees, for example. With this deal, he gets a one-of-a-kind design from some of the most popular craft breweries in the world, and he gets a new one every month. If you do order, mention that you read it here.

If his tastes run to such things (like mine do), a few good cigars might be in order. After all, he probably gave out a bunch of them when you emerged from your weatherproof 98.6º cocoon. Father’s Day is a great time to pay him back with some good ones, not the Phillies or Dutch Masters he probably gave away. True, it’s not the most sentimental or emotional of gifts, but he’ll appreciate it for sure.

In fact, even the slightest awareness of things your father appreciates  (besides not having to bear you in his abdomen for nine months and expel you from an orifice with some rather astounding stretching capabilities) would be good.

There are other things you can get to show your appreciation for his role in your being, too. But in reality, most dads would be happy to just get a card, a hug and a big “Thanks, Dad!” from their children.

And dads should say thanks, too. But to God.

From being a bedside witness to three births, I have come to know this immutable truth:

God must be a man, because he spared us the ordeal the missus says was “the most horrible, wonderful experience of her life.” 

True, we didn’t get “the bond” or "the wonderful," but neither did we get the"horrible." And dads don't do "horrible" well at all.

Worth the trade-off to me, especially if I have a beer and a cigar to reflect on my good fortune.

Happy Father's Day!

Cheers! The Pubscout